I did not know what to say, but Lucy turned the conversation as she said, rising up, "Oh, why did you tell us of this?
It is my favorite seat, and I cannot leave it, and now I find I must go on sitting over the grave of a suicide."
"That won't harm ye, my pretty, an' it may make poor Geordie gladsome to have so trim a lass sittin' on his lap.
That won't hurt ye. Why, I've sat here off an' on for nigh twenty years past, an' it hasn't done me no harm.
Don't ye fash about them as lies under ye, or that doesn' lie there either! It'll be time for ye to be getting scart when ye see the tombsteans all run away with, and the place as bare as a stubble-field. There's the clock, and'I must gang.
My service to ye, ladies!" And off he hobbled.
Lucy and I sat awhile, and it was all so beautiful before us that we took hands as we sat, and she told me all over again about Arthur and their coming marriage.
That made me just a little heart-sick, for I haven't heard from Jonathan for a whole month.
The same day. I came up here alone, for I am very sad. There was no letter for me. I hope there cannot be anything the matter with Jonathan.
The clock has just struck nine. I see the lights scattered all over the town, sometimes in rows where the streets are, and sometimes singly.
They run right up the Esk and die away in the curve of the valley.
To my left the view is cut off by a black line of roof of the old house next to the abbey. The sheep and lambs are bleating in the fields away behind me, and there is a clatter of donkeys' hoofs up the paved road below.
The band on the pier is playing a harsh waltz in good time, and further along the quay there is a Salvation Army meeting in a back street.
Neither of the bands hears the other, but up here I hear and see them both. I wonder where Jonathan is and if he is thinking of me!
I wish he were here.
DR. SEWARD'S DIARY
5 June.--The case of Renfield grows more interesting the more I get to understand the man. He has certain qualities very largely developed, selfishness, secrecy, and purpose.
I wish I could get at what is the object of the latter. He seems to have some settled scheme of his own, but what it is I do not know.
His redeeming quality is a love of animals, though, indeed, he has such curious turns in it that I sometimes imagine he is only abnormally cruel.
His pets are of odd sorts.
Just now his hobby is catching flies. He has at present such a quantity that I have had myself to expostulate.
To my astonishment, he did not break out into a fury, as I expected, but took the matter in ****** seriousness.
He thought for a moment, and then said, "May I have three days?
I shall clear them away." Of course, I said that would do.
I must watch him.
18 June.--He has turned his mind now to spiders,and has got several very big fellows in a box. He keeps feeding them his flies, and the number of the latter is becoming sensibly diminished, although he has used half his food in attracting more flies from outside to his room.
1 July.--His spiders are now becoming as great a nuisance as his flies, and today I told him that he must get rid of them.
He looked very sad at this, so I said that he must some of them, at all events. He cheerfully acquiesced in this, and I gave him the same time as before for reduction.
He disgusted me much while with him, for when a horrid blowfly, bloated with some carrion food, buzzed into the room, he caught it, held it exultantly for a few moments between his finger and thumb, and before I knew what he was going to do, put it in his mouth and ate it.
I scolded him for it, but he argued quietly that it was very good and very wholesome, that it was life, strong life, and gave life to him.
This gave me an idea, or the rudiment of one. I must watch how he gets rid of his spiders.
He has evidently some deep problem in his mind, for he keeps a little notebook in which he is always jotting down something. whole pages of it are filled with masses of figures, generally single numbers added up in batches, and then the totals added in batches again, as though he were focussing some account, as the auditors put it.
8 July.--There is a method in his madness,and the rudimentary idea in my mind is growing. It will be a whole idea soon, and then, oh, unconscious cerebration, you will have to give the wall to your conscious brother.
I kept away from my friend for a few days, so that I might notice if there were any change. Things remain as they were except that he has parted with some of his pets and got a new one.
He has managed to get a sparrow, and has already partially tamed it.
His means of taming is ******, for already the spiders have diminshed.
Those that do remain, however, are well fed, for he still brings in the flies by tempting them with his food.
19 July--We are progressing. My friend has now a whole colony of sparrows, and his flies and spiders are almost obliterated. When I came in he ran to me and said he wanted to ask me a great favour, a very, very great favour.
And as he spoke, he fawned on me like a dog.
I asked him what it was, and he said, with a sort of rapture in his voice and bearing, "A kitten, a nice, little, sleek playful kitten, that I can play with, and teach, and feed, and feed, and feed!"
I was not unprepared for this request, for I had noticed how his pets went on increasing in size and vivacity, but I did not care that his pretty family of tame sparrows should be wiped out in the same manner as the flies and spiders.
So I said I would see about it, and asked him if he would not rather have a cat than a kitten.
His eagerness betrayed him as he answered, "Oh, yes, I would like a cat!
I only asked for a kitten lest you should refuse me a cat.
No one would refuse me a kitten, would they?"
I shook my head, and said that at present I feared it would not be possible, but that I would see about it.
His face fell, and I could see a warning of danger in it, for there was a sudden fierce, sidelong look which meant killing.
The man is an undeveloped homicidal maniac. I shall test him with his present craving and see how it will work out, then I shall know more.
10 pm.--I have visited him again and found him sitting in a corner brooding.
