"It's not that, Mariana," he said, mastering his sobs by an effort, "I am not afraid for either of us...but...I am sorry.
"For whom?"
"For you, Mariana! I am sorry that you should have united your fate with a man who is not worthy of you.""Why not?"
"If only because he can be crying at a moment as this!""It is not you but your nerves that are crying!""You can't separate me from my nerves! But listen, Mariana, look me in the face; can you tell me now that you do not regret--""What?"
"That you ran away with me."
"No!"
"And would you go with me further? Anywhere?""Yes!"
"Really? Mariana...really?
"Yes.I have given you my word, and so long as you remain the man I love--I shall not take it back."Nejdanov remained sitting on the chair, Mariana standing before him.His arms were about her waist, her's were resting on his shoulders.
"Yes, no," Nejdanov thought..."when I last held her in my arms like this, her body was at least motionless, but now I can feel it--against her will, perhaps-- shrink away from me gently!"He loosened his arms and Mariana did in fact move away from him a little.
"If that's so," he said aloud, "if we must run away from here before the police find us...I think it wouldn't be a bad thing if we were to get married.We may not find another such accommodating priest as Father Zosim!""I am quite ready," Mariana observed.
Nejdanov gave her a searching glance.
"A Roman maiden!" he exclaimed with a sarcastic half-smile."What a feeling of duty!"Mariana shrugged her shoulders.
"We must tell Solomin."
"Yes...Solomin..." Nejdanov drawled out."But he is also in danger.The police would arrest him too.It seems to me that he also took part in things and knew even more than we did.""I don't know about that," Mariana observed."He never speaks of himself!
"Not as I do!" Nejdanov thought."That was what she meant to imply.Solomin...Solomin!" he added after a pause."Do you know, Mariana, I should not be at all sorry if you had linked your fate forever with a man like Solomin...or with Solomin himself."Mariana gave Nejdanov a penetrating glance in her turn."You had no right to say that," she observed at last.
"I had no right! In what sense am I to take that? Does it mean that you love me, or that I ought not to touch upon this question generally speaking?""You had no right," Mariana repeated.
Nejdanov lowered his head.
"Mariana!" he exclaimed in a slightly different tone of voice.
"Yes?
"If I were to ask you now...now...you know what...But no, I will not ask anything of you..goodbye."He got up and went out; Mariana did not detain him.Nejdanov sat down on the couch and covered his face with his hands.He was afraid of his own thoughts and tried to stop thinking.He felt that some sort of dark, underground hand had clutched at the very root of his being and would not let him go.He knew that the dear, sweet creature he had left in the next room would not come out to him and he dared not go to her.What for? What would he say to her?
Firm, rapid footsteps made him open his eyes.Solomin passed through his room, knocked at Mariana's door, and went in.
"Honour where honour is due!" Nejdanov whispered bitterly.