登陆注册
37884800000163

第163章 FIVE 1938-1953 FEE(26)

He stayed talking to Mrs. Smith and the maids for a long time. They had grown much older in the years since he had left, but somehow age suited them more than it did Fee. Happy. That's what they were. Genuinely almost perfectly happy. Poor Fee, who wasn't happy. It made him hungry to see Meggie, see if she was happy. But when he left the cookhouse Meggie wasn't back, so to fill in time he strolled through the grounds toward the creek. How peaceful the cemetery was; there were six bronze plaques on the mausoleum wall, just as there had been last time. He must see that he himself was buried here; he must remember to instruct them, when he returned to Rome. Near the mausoleum he noticed two new graves, old Tom, the garden rouseabout, and the wife of one of the stockmen, who had been on the payroll since 1946. Must be some sort of record. Mrs. Smith thought he was still with them because his wife lay here. The Chinese cook's ancestral umbrella was quite faded from all the years of fierce sun, had dwindled from its original imperial red through the various shades he remembered to its present whitish pink, almost ashes of roses. Meggie, Meggie. You went back to him after me, you bore him a son. It was very hot; a little wind came, stirred the weeping willows along the creek, made the bells on the Chinese cook's umbrella chime their mournful tinny tune: Hee Sing, Hee Sing, Hee Sing. TANKSTAND CHARLIE HE WAS A GOOD BLOKE. That had faded, too, was practically indecipherable. Well, it was fitting. Graveyards ought to sink back into the bosom of Mother Earth, lose their human cargo under a wash of time, until it all was gone and only the air remembered, sighing. He didn't want to be buried in a Vatican crypt, among men like himself. Here, among people who had really lived. Turning, his eyes caught the glaucous glance of the marble angel. He raised his hand, saluted it, looked across the grass toward the big house. And she was coming, Meggie. Slim, golden, in a pair of breeches and a white man's shirt exactly like his own, a man's grey felt hat on the back of her head, tan boots on her feet. Like a boy, like her son, who should have been his son.

He was a man, but when he too lay here there would be nothing left living to mark the fact.

She came on, stepped over the white fence, came so close all he could see were her eyes, those grey, light-filled eyes which hadn't lost their beauty or their hold over his heart. Her arms were around his neck, his fate again within his touch, it was as if he had never been away from her, that mouth alive under his, not a dream; so long wanted, so long. A different kind of sacrament, dark like the earth, having nothing to do with the sky. "Meggie, Meggie," he said, his face in her hair, her hat on the grass, his arms around her.

"It doesn't seem to matter, does it? Nothing ever changes," she said, eyes closed..

"No, nothing changes," he said, believing it. "This is Drogheda, Ralph. I warned you, on Drogheda you're mine, not God's."

"I know. I admit it. But I came." He drew her down onto the grass. "Why, Meggie?"

"Why what?" Her hand was stroking his hair, whiter than Fee's now, still thick, still beautiful.

"Why did you go back to Luke? Have his son?" he asked jealously. Her soul looked out from behind its lucent grey windows and veiled its thoughts from him. "He forced me to," she said blandly. "It was only once. But I had Dane, so I'm not sorry. Dane was worth everything I went through to get him."

"I'm sorry, I had no right to ask. I gave you to Luke in the first place, didn't I?"

"That's true, you did."

"He's a wonderful boy. Does he look like Luke?" She smiled secretly, plucked at the grass, laid her hand inside his shirt, against his chest. "Not really. Neither of my children looks very much like Luke, or me."

"I love them because they're yours."

"You're as sentimental as ever. Age suits you, Ralph.

I knew it would, I hoped I'd have the chance to see it. Thirty years I've known you! It seems like thirty days."

"Thirty years? As many as that?"

"I'm forty-one, my dear, so it must be." She got to her feet. "I was officially sent to summon you inside. Mrs. Smith is laying on a splendid tea in your honor, and later on when it's a bit cooler there's to be roast leg of pork, with lots of crackling."

He began to walk with her, slowly. "Your son laughs just like you, Meggie. His laugh was the first human noise I heard on Drogheda. I thought he was you; I went to find you and I discovered him instead."

"So he was the first person you saw on Drogheda."

"Why, yes, I suppose he was."

"What did you think of him, Ralph?" she asked eagerly. "I liked him. How could I not, when he's your son? But I was attracted to him very strongly, far more so than to your daughter. She doesn't like me, either."

"Justine might be my child, but she's a prize *****. I've learned to swear in my old age, mostly thanks to Justine. And you, a little. And Luke, a little. And the war, a little. Funny how they all mount up."

"You've changed a lot, Meggie."

"Have I?" The soft, full mouth curved into a smile. "I don't think so, really. It's just the Great Northwest, wearing me down, stripping off the layers like Salome's seven veils. Or like an onion, which is how Justine would rather put it. No poetry, that child. I'm the same old Meggie, Ralph, only more naked."

"Perhaps so."

"Ali, but you've changed, Ralph."

"In what way, my Meggie?"

"As if the pedestal rocks with every passing breeze, and as if the view from up there is a disappointment."

"It is." He laughed soundlessly. "And to think I once had the temerity to say you weren't anything out of the ordinary! I take it back. You're the one woman, Meggie. The one!" "What happened?"

"I don't know. Did I discover even Church idols have feet of clay? Did I sell myself for a mess of pottage? Am I grasping at nothing?" His brows drew together, as if in pain. "And that's it, perhaps, in a nutshell. I'm a mass of clichés. It's an old, sour, petrified world, the Vatican world." "I was more real, but you could never see it."

同类推荐
  • THUVIA

    THUVIA

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 戏瑕

    戏瑕

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 山水小牍

    山水小牍

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 熙朝乐事

    熙朝乐事

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 戴氏族谱

    戴氏族谱

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 天行

    天行

    号称“北辰骑神”的天才玩家以自创的“牧马冲锋流”战术击败了国服第一弓手北冥雪,被誉为天纵战榜第一骑士的他,却受到小人排挤,最终离开了效力已久的银狐俱乐部。是沉沦,还是再次崛起?恰逢其时,月恒集团第四款游戏“天行”正式上线,虚拟世界再起风云!
  • 木叶最强通灵师

    木叶最强通灵师

    穿越被通灵,通灵开局皮卡丘,原以为只是个卖萌货,可当皮卡丘把九尾按在地上摩擦时,秋野凌知道自己错了;皮卡丘,史莱姆,骨王,一个个二次元的大佬成为手下,在众多助力下,秋野凌一步步走向忍界最强。宇智波斑:“秋野凌,我宇智波斑承认你是忍界最强!”“你承认有个屁用!”秋野凌望着身后相当生气的通灵兽们如是骂道。
  • 犹太人成功兵法2

    犹太人成功兵法2

    本书围绕犹太商人的推销细节,以犹太人的经典论述和事例为依据,解答了犹太商人之所以能在商界称雄的原因。
  • 忆往昔梦录

    忆往昔梦录

    忆眠时,春梦困腾腾。展转不能起,玉钗垂枕棱。忆行时,背手挼金雀。敛笑慢回头,步转阑干角。忆去时,向月迟迟行。强语戏同伴,图郎闻笑声。
  • 瑶瑶只相望

    瑶瑶只相望

    我曾站在城墙之上,身后,是琼楼玉宇,金碧辉煌。身前,是山河辽阔,璀璨星河。也是,你一次又一次离开的身影......我守不住,却又舍不得......宸哥哥,如果人生可以重新选择,我只愿生于草莽人家,哪怕贫苦一生,只盼能与你看日落西山,把酒话桑麻......
  • 昔日丑小鸭

    昔日丑小鸭

    谁人青春不轻狂,谁人青春不迷茫?走过名叫青春的草地,其间花繁草翠,阳光灿烂……驻足回首,那片草地依然,只是人却早已似是而非……记忆,你想要记住,它才是回忆。若不想记住,那就变成了遗忘在角落中的悲哀……
  • tfboys光芒万丈

    tfboys光芒万丈

    本书为tfboys成员王俊凯,王源,易烊千玺与三位少女的故事,期待吧
  • 掳爱:错惹豪门继承人

    掳爱:错惹豪门继承人

    整整三天,他强势索取,她默默承受。他滚热的气息洒在她耳际:“记着你是我的女人!永远都只能是我的玩物!”他用最残忍的方法折磨她,也用最甜蜜的方式宠爱她。她以为,高高在上的亿万总裁爱上了她这个小小女佣。她珠胎暗结之时,他却一声令下:孩子打掉!这个女人,让她在这个世界消失……
  • 你看不见

    你看不见

    为了什么呢,我才回来到这里。。又是为了什么要喜欢上他。。可是。。当你告诉我你没有死的时候,我却喜欢上了另一个人,
  • 千年吸血鬼之契

    千年吸血鬼之契

    幽静的山野中,一座华丽的城堡竖立在其,夜如初(女主)提着一盏烛灯缓步走进城堡中,"唰"一道黑影从她面前掠过,一双苍白修长的手从暗处伸出,轻轻环住了夜如初的腰……