He looked a little disturbed and worn, she thought.But he said not a word to her about her revelation, even when they were alone.Could he have had it? Unless he began the subject she felt that she could say nothing.
So the day passed, and it was evident that whatever he thought he meant to keep to himself.Yet he was frank and affectionate as before.Could it be that her doubts were childish? that he forgave her; that he loved her for what she was, just as she was, and smiled at her disquiet as at a foolish nightmare? Had he really received her note? She glanced into his room, and could see nothing of it.It might be that he forgave her.
But even if he had not received it she had a sudden enthusiastic trust that he surely would forgive her.
Every morning and night he was the same, and thus New Year's Eve broke - the wedding-day.
The lovers did not rise at milking-time, having through the whole of this last week of their sojourn at the dairy been accorded something of the position of guests, Tess being honoured with a room of her own.When they arrived downstairs at breakfast-time they were surprised to see what effects had been produced in the large kitchen for their glory since they had last beheld it.At some unnatural hour of the morning the dairyman had caused the yawning chimney-corner to be whitened, and the brick hearth reddened, and a blazing yellow damask blower to be hung across the arch in place of the old grimy blue cotton one with a black sprig pattern which had formerly done duty here.This renovated aspect of what was the focus indeed of the room on a dull winter morning, threw a smiling demeanour over the whole apartment.
`I was determined to do summat in honour o't,' said the dairyman.`And as you wouldn't hear of my gieing a rattling good randy wi' fiddles and bass-viols complete, as we should ha' done in old times, this was all Icould think o' as a noiseless thing.' Tess's friends lived so far off that none could conveniently have been present at the ceremony, even had any been asked; but as a fact nobody was invited from Marlott.As for Angel's family, he had written and duly informed them of the time, and assured them that he would be glad to see one at least of them there for the day if he would like to come.His brothers had not replied at all, seeming to be indignant with him; while his father and mother had written a rather sad letter, deploring his precipitancy in rushing into marriage, but ****** the best of the matter by saying that, though a dairywoman was the last daughter-in-law they could have expected, their son had arrived at an age at which he might be supposed to be the best judge.
This coolness in his relations distressed Clare less than it would have done had he been without the grand card with which he meant to surprise them ere long.To produce Tess, fresh from the dairy, as a d'Urberville and a lady, he had felt to be temerarious and risky; hence he had concealed her lineage till such time as, familiarized with worldly ways by a few months' travel and reading with him, he could take her on a visit to his parents, and impart the knowledge while triumphantly producing her as worthy of such an ancient line.It was a pretty lover's dream, if no more.Perhaps Tess's lineage had more value for himself than for anybody in the world besides.
Her perception that Angel's bearing towards her still remained in no whit altered by her own communication rendered Tess guiltily doubtful if he could have received it.She rose from breakfast before he had finished, and hastened upstairs.It had occurred to her to look once more into the queer gaunt room which had been Clare's den, or rather eyrie, for so long, and climbing the ladder she stood at the open door of the apartment, regarding and pondering.She stooped to the threshold of the doorway, where she had pushed in the note two or three days earlier in such excitement.The carpet reached close to the sill, and under the edge of the carpet she discerned the faint white margin of the envelope containing her letter to him, which he obviously had never seen, owing to her having in her haste thrust it beneath the carpet as well as beneath the door.
With a feeling of faintness she withdrew the letter.There it was -sealed up, just as it had left her hands.The mountain had not yet been removed.She could not let him read it now, the house being in full bustle of preparation; and descending to her own room she destroyed the letter there.
She was so pale when he saw her again that he felt quite anxious.The incident of the misplaced letter she had jumped at as if it prevented a confession; but she knew in her conscience that it need not; there was still time.Yet everything was in a stir; there was coming and going; all had to dress, the dairyman and Mrs Crick having been asked to accompany them as witnesses; and reflection or deliberate talk was well-nigh impossible.
The only minute Tess could get to be alone with Clare was when they met upon the landing.
`I am so anxious to talk to you - I want to confess all my faults and blunders!' she said with attempted lightness.
`No, no - we can't have faults talked of - you must be deemed perfect to-day at least, my Sweet!' he cried.`We shall have plenty of time, hereafter, I hope, to talk over our failings.I will confess mine at the same time.'
`But it would be better for me to do it now, I think, so that you could not say--'
`Well, my quixotic one, you shall tell me anything - say, as soon as we are settled in our lodging; not now.1, too, will tell you my faults then.But do not let us spoil the day with them; they will be excellent matter for a dull time.'
`Then you don't wish me to, dearest?'
`I do not, Tessy, really.'
The hurry of dressing and starting left no time for more than this.
