So I slipped into the hollow, and choked down my cough, and listened. Rene had never shown me any of these trumpets.'
'Trumpets? Aren't you too old for trumpets?' said Una.
'They weren't real trumpets, because Jerry opened his short-collar, and Rene put one end of his trumpet against Jerry's chest, and put his ear to the other. Then Jerry put his trumpet against Rene's chest, and listened while Rene breathed and coughed. I was afraid I would cough too.
'"This hollywood one is the best," said Jerry. "'Tis won'erful like hearin' a man's soul whisperin' in his innards; but unless I've a buzzin' in my ears, Mosheur Lanark, you make much about the same kind o' noises as old Gaffer Macklin - but not quite so loud as young Copper. It sounds like breakers on a reef - a long way off. Comprenny?"
'"Perfectly," said Rene. "I drive on the breakers. But before I strike, I shall save hundreds, thousands, millions perhaps, by my little trumpets. Now tell me what sounds the old Gaffer Macklin have made in his chest, and what the young Copper also."
'Jerry talked for nearly a quarter of an hour about sick people in the village, while Rene asked questions. Then he sighed, and said, "You explain very well, Monsieur Gamm, but if only I had your opportunities to listen for myself! Do you think these poor people would let me listen to them through my trumpet - for a little money? No?" - Rene's as poor as a church mouse.
'"They'd kill you, Mosheur. It's all I can do to coax 'em to abide it, and I'm Jerry Gamm," said Jerry. He's very proud of his attainments.
'"Then these poor people are alarmed - No?" said Rene.
'"They've had it in at me for some time back because o' my tryin' your trumpets on their sick; and I reckon by the talk at the alehouse they won't stand much more. Tom Dunch an' some of his kidney was drinkin' themselves riot-ripe when I passed along after noon. Charms an' mutterin's an' bits o' red wool an' black hens is in the way o' nature to these fools, Mosheur; but anything likely to do 'em real service is devil's work by their estimation. If I was you, I'd go home before they come." Jerry spoke quite quietly, and Rene shrugged his shoulders.
'"I am prisoner on parole, Monsieur Gamm," he said. "I have no home."
'Now that was unkind of Rene. He's often told me that he looked on England as his home. I suppose it's French politeness.
'"Then we'll talk o' something that matters," said Jerry. "Not to name no names, Mosheur Lanark, what might be your own opinion o' some one who ain't old Gaffer Macklin nor young Copper? Is that person better or worse?"
'"Better - for time that is," said Rene. He meant for the time being, but I never could teach him some phrases.
'"I thought so too," said Jerry. "But how about time to come?"
Rene shook his head, and then he blew his nose. You don't know how odd a man looks blowing his nose when you are sitting directly above him.
I've thought that too," said Jerry. He rumbled so deep I could scarcely catch. "It don't make much odds to me, because I'm old. But you're young, Mosheur- you're young," and he put his hand on Rene's knee, and Rene covered it with his hand. I didn't know they were such friends.
'"Thank you, mon ami," said Rene. "I am much oblige. Let us return to our trumpet-******. But I forget" - he stood up - "it appears that you receive this afternoon!"
'You can't see into Gamm's Lane from the oak, but the gate opened, and fat little Doctor Break stumped in, mopping his head, and half-a-dozen of our people following him, very drunk.
'You ought to have seen Rene bow; he does it beautifully.
'"A word with you, Laennec," said Doctor Break. "Jerry has been practising some devilry or other on these poor wretches, and they've asked me to be arbiter."
'"Whatever that means, I reckon it's safer than asking you to be doctor," said Jerry, and Tom Dunch, one of our carters, laughed.
'"That ain't right feeling of you, Tom," Jerry said, "seeing how clever Doctor Break put away your thorn in the flesh last winter." Tom's wife had died at Christmas, though Doctor Break bled her twice a week. Doctor Break danced with rage.
'"This is all beside the mark," he said. "These good people are willing to testify that you've been impudently prying into God's secrets by means of some papistical contrivance which this person" - he pointed to poor Rene - "has furnished you with.
Why, here are the things themselves!" Rene was holding a trumpet in his hand.
'Then all the men talked at once. They said old Gaffer Macklin was dying from stitches in his side where Jerry had put the trumpet - they called it the devil's ear-piece; and they said it left round red witch-marks on people's skins, and dried up their lights, and made 'em spit blood, and threw 'em into sweats.
Terrible things they said. You never heard such a noise. I took advantage of it to cough.
'Rene and Jerry were standing with their backs to the pigsty.
Jerry fumbled in his big flap pockets and fished up a pair of pistols.
You ought to have seen the men give back when he cocked his.
He passed one to Rene.
'"Wait! Wait!" said Rene. "I will explain to the doctor if he permits." He waved a trumpet at him, and the men at the gate shouted, "Don't touch it, Doctor! Don't lay a hand to the thing."
'"Come, come!" said Rene. "You are not so big fool as you pretend. No?"
'Doctor Break backed toward the gate, watching Jerry's pistol, and Rene followed him with his trumpet, like a nurse trying to amuse a child, and put the ridiculous thing to his ear to show how it was used, and talked of la Gloire, and l'Humanite, and la Science, while Doctor Break watched jerry's pistol and swore. I nearly laughed aloud.
'"Now listen! Now listen!" said Rene. "This will be moneys in your pockets, my dear confrere. You will become rich."
'Then Doctor Break said something about adventurers who could not earn an honest living in their own country creeping into decent houses and taking advantage of gentlemen's confidence to enrich themselves by base intrigues.
