MATTHEW.Fadher Dempsey:will you tell him dhat me mother's ant was shot and kilt dead in the sthreet o Rosscullen be a soljer in the tithe war?[Frantically]He wants to put the tithes on us again.He--LARRY [interrupting him with overbearing contempt].Put the tithes on you again!Did the tithes ever come off you?Was your land any dearer when you paid the tithe to the parson than it was when you paid the same money to Nick Lestrange as rent,and he handed it over to the Church Sustentation Fund?Will you always be duped by Acts of Parliament that change nothing but the necktie of the man that picks your pocket?I'll tell you what I'd do with you,Mat Haffigan:I'd make you pay tithes to your own Church.I want the Catholic Church established in Ireland:that's what I want.Do you think that I,brought up to regard myself as the son of a great and holy Church,can bear to see her begging her bread from the ignorance and superstition of men like you?Iwould have her as high above worldly want as I would have her above worldly pride or ambition.Aye;and I would have Ireland compete with Rome itself for the chair of St Peter and the citadel of the Church;for Rome,in spite of all the blood of the martyrs,is pagan at heart to this day,while in Ireland the people is the Church and the Church the people.
FATHER DEMPSEY [startled,but not at all displeased].Whisht,man!You're worse than mad Pether Keegan himself.
BROADBENT [who has listened in the greatest astonishment].You amaze me,Larry.Who would have thought of your coming out like this![Solemnly]But much as I appreciate your really brilliant eloquence,I implore you not to desert the great Liberal principle of Disestablishment.
LARRY.I am not a Liberal:Heaven forbid!A disestablished Church is the worst tyranny a nation can groan under.
BROADBENT [****** a wry face].DON'T be paradoxical,Larry.It really gives me a pain in my stomach.
LARRY.You'll soon find out the truth of it here.Look at Father Dempsey!he is disestablished:he has nothing to hope or fear from the State;and the result is that he's the most powerful man in Rosscullen.The member for Rosscullen would shake in his shoes if Father Dempsey looked crooked at him.[Father Dempsey smiles,by no means averse to this acknowledgment of his authority].Look at yourself!you would defy the established Archbishop of Canterbury ten times a day;but catch you daring to say a word that would shock a Nonconformist!not you.The Conservative party today is the only one that's not priestridden--excuse the expression,Father [Father Dempsey nods tolerantly]--cause it's the only one that has established its Church and can prevent a clergyman becoming a bishop if he's not a Statesman as well as a Churchman.
He stops.They stare at him dumbfounded,and leave it to the priest to answer him.
FATHER DEMPSEY [judicially].Young man:you'll not be the member for Rosscullen;but there's more in your head than the comb will take out.
LARRY.I'm sorry to disappoint you,father;but I told you it would be no use.And now I think the candidate had better retire and leave you to discuss his successor.[He takes a newspaper from the table and goes away through the shrubbery amid dead silence,all turning to watch him until he passes out of sight round the corner of the house].
DORAN [dazed].Hwat sort of a fella is he at all at all?
FATHER DEMPSEY.He's a clever lad:there's the ****** of a man in him yet.
MATTHEW [in consternation].D'ye mane to say dhat yll put him into parliament to bring back Nick Lesthrange on me,and to put tithes on me,and to rob me for the like o Patsy Farrll,because he's Corny Doyle's only son?
DORAN [brutally].Arra hould your whisht:who's goin to send him into parliament?Maybe you'd like us to send you dhere to thrate them to a little o your anxiety about dhat dirty little podato patch o yours.
MATTHEW [plaintively].Am I to be towld dhis afther all me sufferins?
DORAN.Och,I'm tired o your sufferins.We've been hearin nothin else ever since we was childher but sufferins.Haven it wasn't yours it was somebody else's;and haven it was nobody else's it was ould Irelan's.How the divil are we to live on wan anodher's sufferins?
FATHER DEMPSEY.That's a thrue word,Barney Doarn;only your tongue's a little too familiar wi dhe devil.[To Mat]If you'd think a little more o the sufferins of the blessed saints,Mat,an a little less o your own,you'd find the way shorter from your farm to heaven.[Mat is about to reply]Dhere now!Dhat's enough!
we know you mean well;an I'm not angry with you.
BROADBENT.Surely,Mr Haffigan,you can see the ****** explanation of all this.My friend Larry Doyle is a most brilliant speaker;but he's a Tory:an ingrained oldfashioned Tory.
CORNELIUS.N how d'ye make dhat out,if I might ask you,Mr Broadbent?
BROADBENT [collecting himself for a political deliverance].Well,you know,Mr Doyle,there's a strong dash of Toryism in the Irish character.Larry himself says that the great Duke of Wellington was the most typical Irishman that ever lived.Of course that's an absurd paradox;but still there's a great deal of truth in it.
Now I am a Liberal.You know the great principles of the Liberal party.Peace--FATHER DEMPSEY [piously].Hear!hear!
BROADBENT [encouraged].Thank you.Retrenchment--[he waits for further applause].
MATTHEW [timidly].What might rethrenchment mane now?
BROADBENT.It means an immense reduction in the burden of the rates and taxes.
MATTHEW [respectfully approving].Dhats right.Dhats right,sir.
BROADBENT [perfunctorily].And,of course,Reform.
CORNELIUS }
FATHER DEMPSEY}[conventionally].Of course.
DORAN }
MATTHEW [still suspicious].Hwat does Reform mane,sir?Does it mane altherin annythin dhats as it is now?
BROADBENT [impressively].It means,Mr Haffigan,maintaining those reforms which have already been conferred on humanity by the Liberal Party,and trusting for future developments to the free activity of a free people on the basis of those reforms.
