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第100章 LITTLE VICTORIES

1."Mother,now that I have lost my limb,I can never be a soldier or a sailor;I can never ground the world!" And Hugh burst inttears,now more really afflicted1 than he had ever been yet. His mother sat on the bed beside him,and wiped away his tears as they flowed,while he told her,as well as his sobs would let him,how long and how much he had reckoned2 on going round the world,and how little he cared for anything else in future;and now this was the very thing he should never be able tdo!

2.He had practiced climbing ever since he could remember,and now this was of nuse;he had practiced marching,and now he should never march again. When he had finished his complaint,there was a pause,and his mother said,"Hugh,you have heard of Huber?"

"The man whfound out slunch about bees?" said Hugh.

"Bees and ants. When Huber had discovered more than had ever been known about these,and when he was sure that he could learn still more,and was more and more anxious tpeep inttheir tiny homes and curious ways,he became blind."

3.Hugh sighed,and his mother went on.

"Did you ever hear of Beethoven? He was one of the greatest musical composers3 that ever lived. His great,his sole delight was in music. It was the passion of his life. When all his time and all1Afflicted,overwhelmed,dejected. 2 Reckoned,calculated,counted.

3Composer,an author of a piece of music.

his mind were given tmusic,he suddenly became deaf,perfectly deaf;sthat he never more heard one single note from the loudest orchestra1. While crowds were moved and delighted with his compositions,it was all silence thim." Hugh said nothing.

4."Now dyou think," asked his mother-and Hugh saw that a mild and gentle smile beamed from her countenance-"dyou think that these people were without a Heavenly Parent?"

"no! but were they patient?" asked Hugh.

"Yes,in their different ways and degrees. Would you suppose that they were hardly treated? Or would you not rather suppose that their Father gave them something better tdthan they had planned for themselves?"

5."He must know best,of course;but it does seem very hard that that very thing should happen tthem. Huber would not have smuch minded being deaf,perhaps;or that musical man,being blind.

"Ndoubt their hearts often swelled within them at their disappointments;but I fully believe that they very soon found God‘s will tbe wiser than their wishes. They found,if they bore their trial well,that there was work for their hearts tdfar nobler than any the head could dthrough the eye or the ear. And they soon felt a new and delicious pleasure which none but the bitterly disappointed can feel."

"What is that?"

6."The pleasure of rousing the soul tbear pain,and of agreeing with God silently,when nobody knows what is in the breast. There is npleasure like that of exercising one’s soul in bearing pain,and of finding one‘s heart glow with the hope that one is pleasing God."

"Shall I feel that pleasure?"Often and often,I have ndoubt;every time you can willingly give up your wish tbe a soldier or a sailor,or anything else you have set your mind upon,you will feel that pleasure. But I dnot expect it of you yet. I dare say it was long a bitter thing tBeethoven tsee1 Orchestra,a body of instrumental musicians.

hundreds of people in raptures with his music,when he could not hear a note of it."

7."But did he ever smile again?" asked Hugh.

"If he did,he was happier than all the fine music in the world could have made him," replied his mother.

"I wonder,oh,I wonder,if I shall ever feel so!"

"We will pray tGod that you may. Shall we ask him now?" Hugh clasped his hands. His mother kneeled beside the bed,and,in a very few words,prayed that Hugh might be able tbear his misfortune well,and that his friends might give him such help and comfort as God should approve1.

8.Hugh found himself subject tvery painful feelings sometimes,such as none quite understood,and such as he feared none was able tpity as they deserved. On one occasion,when he had been quite merry for a while,and his mother and his sister Agnes were chatting,they thought they heard a sob from the sofa. They spoke tHugh,and found that he was indeed crying bitterly.

"What is it,my dear?" said his mother. "Agnes,have we said anything that could hurt his feelings?"

"No,no," sobbed Hugh. "I will tell you,presently."

9.And,presently,he told them that he was sbusy listening twhat they said that he forgot everything else,when he felt as if something had gotten between twof his toes;unconsciously he put down his hand as if his foot were there! Nothing could be plainer than the feeling in his toes;and then,when he put out his hand,and found nothing,it was sterrible,it startled him so! It was a comfort tfind that his mother knew about this. She came,and kneeled by his sofa,and told him that many persons whhad lost a limb considered this the most painful thing they had tbear for some time;but that,though the feeling would return occasionally through life,it would cease tbe painful.1 Approve,sanction,allow.

10.Hugh was very much dejected1,and when he thought of the months and years tthe end of his life,and that he should never run and play,and never be like other people,he almost wished that he were dead.

Agnes thought that he must be miserable indeed if he could venture tsay this this mother. She glanced at her mother’s face,but there was ndispleasure there. On the contrary,she said this feeling was very natural. She had felt it herself under smaller misfortunes than Hugh‘s;but she had found,though the prospect appeared all strewn with troubles,that they came singly,and were not shard tbear,after all.

11.She told Hugh that when she was a little girl she was very lazy,fond of her bed,and not at all fond of dressing or washing.

"Why,mother! you?" exclaimed Hugh.

"Yes;that was the sort of little girl I was. Well,I was in despair,one day,at the thought that I should have twash,and clean my teeth,and brush my hair,and put on every article of dress,every morning,as long as I lived."

"Did you tell anybody?" asked Hugh.

12."No,I was ashamed tdthat;but I remember I cried. You see how it turns out. When we have become accustomed tanything,we dit without ever thinking of the trouble,and,as the old fable tells us,the clock that has ttick smany millions of times,has exactly the same number of seconds tdit in. Swill you find that you can move about on each separate occasion,as you wish,and practice will enable you tdit without any trouble or thought."

"But this is not all,nor half what I mean," said Hugh.

13."No,my dear,nor half what you will have tbear. You resolved tbear it all patiently,I remember. But what is it you dread the most?"

"Oh! all manner of things. I can never dlike other people." "Some things," replied his mother. "You can never play cricket,as every Crofton boy would like tdo. You can never dance at your1Dejected,discouraged,low-spirited.

sister’s Christmas parties."

14."mamma!" cried Agnes,with tears in her eyes,and with the thought in her mind that it was cruel ttalk so.

"Gon! Gon!" cried Hugh,brightening. "You know what I feel,mother;and you don‘t keep telling me,as others do,and even sister Agnes,sometimes,that it will not signify much,and that I shall not care,and all that;making out that it is nmisfortune,hardly,when I know what it is,and they don’t. Now,then,gon,mother! What else?"

15."There will be little checks and mortifications continually,when you see little boys leaping over this,and climbing that,and playing at the other,while you must stand out,and can only look on. And some people will pity you in a way you will not like: and some may even laugh at you."

"mamma!" exclaimed Agnes. "Well,and what else?" said Hugh.

16."Sooner or later you will have tfollow some way of life determined by this accident instead of one that you would have liked better."

"Well,what else?"

"I must ask you,now. I can think of nothing more;and I hope there is not much else;for,indeed,I think here is quite enough for a boy,or anyone else,tbear."

"I will bear it though;you will see."

17."You will find great helps. These misfortunes of themselves strengthen one‘s mind. They have some advantages too. You will be a better scholar for your lameness,I have ndoubt. You will read more books,and have a mind richer in thoughts. You will be more beloved by us all,and you yourself will love God more for having given you something tbear for his sake. God himself will help you tbear your trials. You will conquer your troubles one by one,and by a succession of LITTLE VICTORIES will at last completely triumph over all."

-Harriet Martineau.

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